I’m slowly realizing that I don’t want to waste my time doing things I don’t want to do just to save face. 

It seems that this has been a pattern of mine and I’m just sincerely over it now. I only know one other friend that sincerely gives no fucks about anyone else’s opinion and just does whatever the hell she feels like doing. I’ve met ppl that say they don’t care or tell me not to care, but they don’t actually carry through with their own words, but this one friend…. is showing me that its actually possible to give NO fucks and still have friends and be happy.

But then I start to analyze her personality and realize that she is also very aloof and is generally a very flexible person… which.. I am not. 

I’m an intense person. I recognize that, but I can also be very aloof and easy going. Unfortunately those days are actually very rare due to me always needing this sense of control. 

I fear that with the intensity of my personality and the fact that I want to “give no fucks” will make me come off as rather bitchy… but isn’t that the fact of giving “no fucks”….? To not care what impression is given? Up to what point am I allowed to not care? Wouldn’t there be some sort of boundary that’s not supposed to be crossed?

Completely over thinking it, probably. 

crownmalone:

ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered “How did you know?”"Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind." replied the author.Here’s the answer:Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.People in love sometimes say, I was swept of my feet. Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.Because (listen carefully to this)The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.Remember this always: the universe determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go!

crownmalone:

ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?


During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?”
In all seriousness, she answered “How did you know?”
"Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind." replied the author.

Here’s the answer:

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, I was swept of my feet. Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this)

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: the universe determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go!

I feel like this week especially has been really tough on me internally. And trust me when I say its not even that big of a deal. I really don’t think it is, but for some reason it still bothers me. I know no one really cares, (at least I hope), but I’m still struggling with the idea of my family knowing or having to talk about it with someone that is ignorant, or dealing with the intolerance that I am pretty sure will follow from at least one individual. I know its tough to deal with these kinds of things and I know that in this case I may have it easy. But I also know that its not easy for everybody and for some reason, the fact that I’m still hiding, makes me mad at myself. 

I don’t want to be talked about.

I don’t want to be stereotyped.

I don’t want to be ridiculed for who I am. 

I also don’t want to shove it into anyone’s face like I’ve known others to. 

It upsets me that I can’t even tell my best friend. It upsets me that I can tell strangers upfront but not the people that I know are there for me. (M/L not included). 

My boyfriend knows and accepts me. He actually has been there for me since the beginning of my own acknowledgement. He’s seen me cry for how confused and hard this has been for me. But I can’t help but see that he’s afraid of it as well. He’s afraid I’ll leave him because of how I am. Because of the uncertainty of it. 

I feel isolated, like I have absolutely no one to relate to. I wish I could fit on a specific gender spectrum, but I don’t. I wish i could have a label, but I don’t. So i guess I’ll just use the umbrella term. 

I am Queer. 

x_x eek!

rubycosmos:

marielikestodraw:

Samuel L Jackson decided that red and green lightsabers were a stupidass decision. \o/

He said it, he said the thing.

(via lupea)

blous-me:

Good night!

wtf? lol

(via ihateallofyou666)

mapsontheweb:

Dante’s Inferno: a helpful diagram to eternal damnation

mapsontheweb:

Dante’s Inferno: a helpful diagram to eternal damnation

(via ihateallofyou666)

rubyreed:

donotruninfear:

this is why i love you

I love her physique too. She’s so strong, and you can see it!

(via imgonnamakeachange)

Yesy | 21 | San Diego, CA
Senior in college | Lady Gaga Fan :3 ♥
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